Friday, April 11, 2008

What Kind of Bride (or Groom) Will You Be?

One of my co-workers got engaged this week so the talk in our office yesterday was all things weddings. This copuled with the surprise (was it really a surprise though?) jumping of the broom by Bouncy and Mr. Carter led me to write this before my scheduled post on sprinter shoes but it is coming tomorrow - I got you C.



It's officially been a week but B and Jay still got everybody fired up something major don't they? So funny to witness huge media outlets and plain-jane housewives speculate on the details of the power couple’s nuptials. I’ve perused a couple of blog posts on the subject myself and read the comments of most as I always do. Honestly the comments are often more interesting than the actual post. Anyway, some people appear to be straight up ANGRY that they can’t view pics of the dress, bridal party (if there was one), the cake and heck even the invites. Now I’m smart enough to know that a lot of this has to do with how much of a celebrity driven culture we’ve become. But I also think that weddings in general are just a show for too many of us. From those making 25k a year to those making 250k or more a year. What is this about? I recently received a wedding invitation in the mail for someone I barely know. Seriously, if the bride-to-be walked up to me right now and asked me for the time, I wouldn’t know who she was. Can’t understand why I’m invited to her shindig....

It’s not solely about wanting more gifts either. Folks just get caught up in a web of pomp and circumstance. And you know what, I think that is fine. But there has got to be a way to do that and remain true to who you and your beloved are. I believe it is quite possible to have a fun, memorable ceremony and that still exudes class (and is within your means budget wise). The wedding you fantacised about at 12 may not fit your lifestyle, bank account or true desires at 34. Personally, I commend Bigga for not wanting everyone and their step-brother involved in such a personal event. Word on the street is they’re going to sell the exclusive pics at a later date and donate the profits to charity. How cool would that be?

Although I'm still figuring things out with Mr. TK and don't have nary a proposal in sight, (and I'm good with that) I'm hoping for a very small, intimate outdoor wedding - I'm talking 10/15 (no bridal party) people max and a big 'ole, sweat rolling down my face from dancing so hard reception filled with all the people that my beau and I love.

What does your ideal wedding look like?

12 comments:

BigCNYC said...

Where do I begin bsquared? At 35, I've been preparing for the big day since about, oh, I don't know, ELEVEN! But as I'm older and still renting(!), spending money on a big ole wedding for my second cousins and play aunts is not going to happened. I told my mom yesterday actually that I don't want to spend more than $3-$5K on my wedding. I don't what that looks like yet, but it'll be my signature style of southern buppie meets boho, with a little island flare. One bridesmaid and groom, with my family in the front row. I'll want my nieces to be the stars of the wedding, not me. I want to look beautiful and natural, but most importantly I want to be happy and just like Bigga, crazy in love.

Penny said...

I'm keeping my "big day" plans close to the chest. Yes, I'm one of those would-be brides who fears another would-be bride may "bite" my dream-wedding idea. As for B and Jay skipping the hoopla, I commend them. But surely, they were still a superstar couple, even if only shining before a much smaller audience (friends and fam, as opposed to, well, the world). On my wedding day, I look forward to the same--the groom (whoever he may be) and me being the number-one stunners.

brownsugarbaby said...

this is a good read. it's amazing how and J are trying to find a way to get away from the hoopla. perhaps true love doesn't have to be tied to an album release?
as far as my wedding plans - getting the family together to have an all night dancefest with laughter till your eyes tear.

babyreds said...

My wedding plans, well oh well. I may very well do something on the intimate side! I want to have a big ole' reception though. I love the dancing and stuff. I don't want to go into debt with wedding madness and for many guests (family) not even probably showing up or giving financial gifts. Not, that I'm doing it just for monetary gifts but, thats a wedding custom! I do want a banging honeymooon/vacation. Good Blog Bsquared!

Artina said...

Very cool blog Bsquared, interesting topic! Besides all the basic elements: friends, family, lots of love, fun, good food, great atmosphere, etc, etc, etc... For my wedding to truly be ideal it will mean that: I won't still be paying for it when it's over and my/our savings account(s) won't be emptied out during the planning process. I want to be wedding debt free on the first big day of the rest of our lives together.

Hardcopy said...

I've always said the 3rd Thursday in Oct. Only the people who love me (I mean us) will show. I rather spend money on an extended honeymoon(I already have a house). I only want people at my(our) wedding who will support my (our)marriage. It definitely has to be debt free. My/our, me/us you can see why I'm still single.

Anonymous said...

Wow! B! Where do I began...I think about weddings and then I don't. I am a single girl and I haven't even found a Mr. Right or Mr. OK, you feel me? Well I just don't want to jinks myself into a fairy tale or an idea that may never manifest. No I am not saying I will be single forever but how can I honestly let a fantasy of one day control the other 364 I have to live. Don't get me wrong I am pro-wedding break out the Champagne and the Louboutins, but I am hesitant to turn this into my perfect day with the attitude of just insert GROOM here philosophy. I want my special day to be special like any other woman but I think it should be a joint decision just like the sacred union I am beginning on that day. Kisses Kasha

Atsui_Gal said...

Wow.. I'm with you 100 percent. I was just talking about this today because I read People mag's "coverage" of Jay & B's wedding. First, I came to the realization today that my groom may have to drag me to the alter, not because I don't love him, just because I don't dream of being married. But I do dream of having a kick-ass honeymoon and a small, intimate ceremony..

50 people tops... my current boyfriend points out that some people can invite 50 close family members and still leave important people out. So I mumble, "well I guess you won't be there." just kidding.. I say, count again. Go through your cell phone. If that family member isn't in there, he or she isn't on the list. If they are in there but haven't gotten a call in months.. off the list. I mean, come on who do you HAVE to have present to do this? That's the list.

Anyway, I like the destination wedding. I could do an outdoor wedding or I've always liked the yacht wedding idea.

No bridal party. But I would want to honor my closet friends in some way (Still don't know if this is necessary, but it feels right.), so I might ask them all to wear a certain color and give them a special table that allows everyone to know they're with me.

What else? OH, I don't want to wear a traditional white puffy dress. I want a dress, just not David's Bridal style.

Of course, all of these things are negotiable.

One thing that isn't negotiable, although slightly off the topic, no person who has ever had sex with me or the groom will be allowed. Going with the theme of an intimate ceremony, I think any former butt buddy or ex can and should be excluded from your big day.

Anonymous said...

My ideal wedding......really I have no idea. I haven't truly given it much thought. I have gone from a bare foot wedding on a beach to an outside backyard wedding at my childhood home to a huge event at my church.

In all honesty, I want my future husband to be so in love with me and I so in love with him that the rest of the details truly don't matter.

daina r said...

Well, B, I have to tell you my vision for the day has changed. I have gone from Cinderella horse & carriage dreams to alone (maybe on a cliff in the islands?). When it comes down to it, I just want my groom there with the officiant. I do want a GIANT party with all of our loved ones. I don't care so much about location or time of year. I'm over the sit-down dinner thing - but I do want us to get to know each other's families. I want to do a year long tour; meeting all the family members and loved ones in intimate settings after the wedding. Wish me luck in finding the man that agrees with this!

Bsquared said...

What grown-up comments we have here, lol! Thanks all. Daina, I had to chime in and co-sign on the family aspect of the reception. That is exactly the reason a want a big 'ole one on the first place. In my opinion, big and expensive (both relative) are two very different things. In my fam, I rarely get to see my loved ones in large numbers (blood related and otherwise) beyond funerals and weddings. *sigh* So I see my possible wedding reception as an opportunity for us all to get together in a celebratory way for the sake of love and all things positive. (I still maintain that desire for the actual wedding to remain small and intimate.) That night, we will all be family - his and mine partying together and celebrating our new union.

But like you, I realize that Mr. TK will clearly have to agree on all of this. ;-)

Anonymous said...

B..I'm late but better late than never..you know how I feel about the hoopla...Bring Your Boo to Boca!!!! Outdoor, sunset and party til you pass out!! Never mind what kind of napkins match the flowers..is my honie there and are we truly the couple that will bring some type of honor to God's way of uniting those who truly love one another..till death do you part!!! LONG but looking forward to it!!! ;)