Black Ballerinas: Remembering my Father

Last month I had the honor of attending not one but TWO events where Mrs. Michelle Obama was the keynote speaker. As I mentioned before, I have been given the plum assignment at work to cover the First Lady. Quite honestly though, May 5th was the first day that I had a real "AHA!" moment about it all.



In the morning, I had the chance to hear the Mom-in-Chief herself speak at the re-opening of the American Wing at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in NYC. Any excuse to visit the MET is right up my alley as it is my fave museum in the Big Apple. But furthermore, there were children from all over NYC attending the ceremony – even Cambria Heights, Queens (a mere 10 minutes from where I grew up). The genuine, warm hugs Mrs. Obama gave those students (most of whom looked like me) even after the event was over and some of the cameramen begin to leave, gave me a feeling I will take to my grave.



Later in the day I went to NYC’s Lincoln Center for the American Ballet Theater opening. It was a huge deal and the attendees were a who’s who of NYC society. Guests included Renee Zellweger, Caroline Kennedy (who introduced Mrs. Obama) and Susan Fales-Hill. There were a whole ‘lotta other folks there who I didn’t recognize but from their seat’s closeness to the stage I know they sign big checks. People were dressed to the nines and since I LOVE to people watch I enjoyed the "show" way before the curtains were raised. This was about the time I had my "AHA!" moment.

My father (RIP) was adamant about me learning ballet at an early age. While he didn’t necessarily want me to become a professional ballerina (although he wasn’t opposed to that either), ballet dancing, like piano playing, was a skill he thought a little girl would just benefit from having. He would tell me that it would help me with my posture. He thought most ballet dancers had a graceful walk. And while I took ballet lessons as a little girl (along with piano) I never perfected the dance form. Never perfected piano playing either…

While I watched the ballet in Lincoln Center that evening of May 5th, I felt my father’s presence stronger than I had in a long, long time. I imagined telling him all about it the moment I left the center and giving him a blow-by-blow of the day’s events. I then imagined his roaring gut-belly laugh when I reenacted certain scenarios. I cried several times that night (as I am crying now) – I’m sure the people around me thought I was a little nuts. Here I was, this young Black woman from Jamaica, Queens at major foo foo, chi chi events twice in one day with the First Lady of The United States of America! I knew, on that day, my father was smiling right along with me.

Long before we even knew Barack Obama existed my father would tell my mother I needed to know how to properly set a dinner table because I might eat with the President at The White House one day and I would need to know what fork to use when. I haven’t eaten in The White House (yet) but it isn’t nearly as far fetched now as it was back in the 80s when he called it. And I actually did break bread with the then Mayor of NYC, Rudy Giuliani during a black-tie affair for a scholarship I received my senior year of high school. A man who grew up on the gritty streets of South Philly and South Jamaica, Queens envisioned all this (and much more) for his little girl. Pretty special, huh?

Despite the success of Alvin Ailey and The Dance Theater of Harlem, the very idea of Black ballerinas used to be an oxymoron to some (and still is for others). Black women were supposedly not built to be great ballerinas. But, sorta like Michelle Obama, lots of Black young ladies defied the odds and succeeded at it anyway. Now I know that is what my father was trying to teach me all along. It was never just about ballet, piano or even table etiquette as much as it was about being able to hold my head up high wherever I was – be it Gracie Mansion, The White House or a greasy spoon in South Central L.A.

Thank you Daddy. Happy Father’s Day.

Looking Back to Go Forward: My Introduction to The Fisk Jubilee Singers

Durning Memorial Day Weekend, I had the pleasure of hearing my lil' cous' sing with his college choir at The Schomburg Research Center in Harlem. I have heard my cousin sing before and our entire family is well aware of his musical talents. I was excited, sure, but I had no idea what I was in for during this concert. He (a resident of North Carolina) was in the Big Apple for a bunch of shows and I was looking forward to seeing the kid on my turf (normally we're in N.C. when our fam gets together) and showing him around the big city. But, my baby cous' was actually the one who taught me something during his visit.

Said cousin just happens to attend Fisk University (the recently deceased John Hope Franklin was a grad) in Nashville, Tenn. and is part of the Fisk Jubilee Singers. Now, in my opinion, ALL HBCU's have a rich history but I had no idea that Fisk was the owner of such an OUTSTANDING legacy. While this country was barely (just barely) out of slavery, Fisk students were over in Europe singing before royalty to raise funds for their school. That tradition continued and now the singers travel the world (still) to perform in front of all sorts of folks.

My cousin (yes, I'm bragging) has trekked all over the United States, Europe and even Africa exposing the young and old alike to beautiful traditional gospel music and Negro Spirituals. The acappella hymns these students belt out are nothing short of amazing and each song tells a story of resilence and tenacity. To hear these young voices carrying on this legacy...well, it's pretty darn impressive. The African-American stuggle is rarely celebrated. I am extremely proud of my lil' cousin and the other Jubilee Singers for reminding folks of how fly we truly are. You too can expereince their talent here and even purchase one of their cds.

Take a listen and tell me what you think. ;-)

My Top 10 Tried and True Style Tips

Wow! It's been way too long. While I have been very busy, I have also not made the time to stop in and post as I should have. Tsk, tsk. I will try to do better. In my absence, I whipped up a list of style tips for a family friend who asked me to speak to a group of women who were looking to polish up their image and transitioning from unemployment to the workforce. I couldn't speak to the group because I was out-of-town but I did send her the list of tips below to distribute to them as a takeaway. Although I have shared most of these tips here on PPT before in some capacity, it is still pretty useful and timeless info and I thought it was worth reposting in this comprehensive list.

Enjoy!

Bsquared's Top 10 Tried and True Style Tips


A trench coat is typically a staple in the wardrobe of most working women.

1 - Start with a good foundation.
The right undergarments are key to ensuring everything else falls and lays the way you ultimately want it to. Bumps and lumps are distracting. One last word: Spanx.

2 - Wear the size that fits and stop obsessing over the physical number.
Self-explanatory. Calvin Klein’s 6 is not the same size as Banana Republic’s 6 anyway. Everything looks more polished when your clothes fit properly.

3 - A tailor or seamstress is your friend.
Now in order to pull number 2 off successfully, chances are you will occasionally need to have things altered for a perfect fit. If everything you wear always fits perfectly off the rack then skip to number 4. That’s rarely the case for any of us. Men understand the importance of a tailor, women are late to the game. While it might seem costly initially, just remember that investing in a good tailor will more than pay for itself in the long run.

4 - If you take care of your clothes, they will take care of you.
Okay, I got this one from my southern mother. It seems like a no-brainer but so many people don’t do it. Wash the whites with the whites and the colors with the colors. If laundry isn’t your thing, send your clothes to the dry-cleaners. Too costly? Invest in a steamer. It makes a world of difference in your overall look when garments are crisp and clean.

5 - Know what looks good on you.
Once you learn that wrap dresses are a flattering silhouette on your hourglass figure or that emerald green compliments your cocoa skin-tone, it all becomes a lot easier. While it is certainly fun to experiment occasionally, everyone should have her go-to pieces that she looks and feels confident in without a lot of guesswork.

6 - Back to basics.
I strongly suggest that every woman own the following items. They are timeless and virtually seasonless and excellent basics to build any wardrobe around.

· A classic suit (pants or skirts) - Try pairing a traditional suit with a simple tank or even a lacy camisole to mix it up a bit. For those working in a traditional corporate setting, a less bare top would probably be more appropriate. For starters, black, navy, grey or chocolate brown are probably the best colors to invest in.

· A "crisp" white shirt/blouse - My mom has always said you can never have too many and I now have to agree. Whenever you’re in a bind, pop one on with a black pencil skirt or trousers and you’re bound to look professional and pulled together.

· A sensible pair of pumps - Classic black pumps are a wardrobe staple for any woman. Period.

· A substantial bag (that can hold resumes, recco letters, a portfolio, etc.) Since we are in the midst of the digital age this might not be a big deal to some but there is something so authoritative and professional about walking into an interview or important meeting/presentation with a portfolio case or tote bag versus a purse. (Is that sexist? Shrugs shoulders...) The choices are endless as the handbag market constantly grows. I suggest sticking to something in solid leather.

· A trench coat - The trench is so ideal in the spring and fall. It too is a classic. While it always says "I mean business," something about cinching the waist with the belt screams femininity. It is always disappointing to see someone wearing a dressy suit under a casual bubble jacket to a professional occasion. A trench in khaki or black is ideal but use your judgment when picking the best color for you.

7 - Your time to shine.
The above items might seem stuffy but you can always let your jewelry display a hint of personality. Accessories in general are an excellent way to inject individualism into a look without compromising professionalism. Don’t be afraid to pair a vintage brooch or colorful scarf with your traditional black suit.

8 - Be a denim diva.
An effortless way to go from day to night is with a pair of trouser cut indigo jeans. They can be dressed up for a date with strappy heels and a sexy but tasteful top or worn with a tee shirt and sneakers to run errands. Helpful hint: Wash dark denim with a capful of vinegar to maintain color longer.

9 - Quality over quantity.
Money can’t buy style. It is more important to own ten timeless items that you love and look great on you than to have fifty that are trendy and ill-fitting. Remember, people don’t remember how often you wore something as much as they remember whether you looked good in it or not.

10 - It’s a wrap!
A wrap dress is the quintessential clothing item for the modern woman. It is a one item wonder since the waist cinching silhouette flatters all body types. You can wear it to the office, to church or on a date. Try to own at least one with a ¾ sleeve so that you can wear it all year long.

Wanna Read Michelle Obama's Diary?

Well now you can! Check me out here for a daily rundown of the First Lady's comings and goings. While I get Michelle Obama's Daily Diary together for the j-o, I might be posting here a little less (just for a minute) so forgive me in advance.

Lemme know what 'cha think!



P.S. - Oh, I finally had a chance to check out Topshop (remember how excited I was about the NYC opening?) and Matthew Williamson's collection at H&M. I was completely underwhelmed by both. :-(

Wardrobe Makeover

So I picked up a bit of fascinating news during a seminar I attended last weekend. One of the facilitators of a workshop there shared that roughly 80 percent of people only wear 20 percent of their wardrobes.

Huh?

Of course I had to research this "stat" myself. While I couldn't find any hard facts from a recent clinical study, it unfortunately appears to be true.


My closet does NOT look like this.

I guess I shouldn't be totally surprised since I am well aware of how most of us are overconsumers but that info still made me pause. Seriously. It made me think about the roughly 20 purses I have hanging behind my closet door and about 7 or 8 clutch bags on a nearby shelf that I cherish but rarely ever see the light of day. And then there's the tote bags...The huge grey satchel that fits everything from my change of shoes to my lunch to my magazines however? It is in constant rotation and although I just purchased it last December, I've carried it a gazillion times more than most of the bags I've have for years.

So I get it. We're creatures of habit and some of us like me are pack rats. (Mr. TK recently informed me with a straight face that I have a clutter problem when I told him that my email inbox was full...again.) But still, why so much stuff? Don't we know that stuff can't make us happy? The latest designer jeans can't spoon with you at night, right? We've all read the self-help books, the service articles in women's magazines...right? One of the best dressed women I know is in her 50s, far from rich and has a mere fraction of the clothes that I have. But she looks great in everything she wears and rarely impulse shops. She shops like a man -- typically only buying something when she needs it. Shopping isn't receation for her. Why though, after all I just typed, do I still feel like I need another purse (a LV speedy) at this very moment? (I'm being honest.)

What's your take? Are you part of the 80 percent? Do you, like me, regularly donate clothes, sometimes unworn, to charity and rarely ever pay full price for anything but still occassionally feel guilty about having so much stuff, especially knowing what you're NOT a trust fund kid? If so, what are you doing about it? I wanna know, what percentage of your wardrobe do you wear on a regular basis? Leave me an (honest) comment.

WEDDING WEDNESDAY ON ESSENCE.COM!

Folks, don't you love weddings? Of course you do! Even those of you who are cynical about marriage or just flat out think weddings are a waste of time and money are secretly intriqued by them.

Admit it.

Well my cyberfriends, each and every Wednesday on ESSENCE.com, you can read about a different (brown) couple who jumped the broom and learn a little about the hurdles they hopped to get there too. Plus check out pics of the the cake, the dress(es) and possibly view a video. An extra bonus is the practical advice in the form of a "Bridal Budget Bite" that each newlywed shares. The feature is called Bridal Bliss and it sort of my new baby and your support will help me with a much bigger project I'm working on.

Check out yesterday's Bridal Bliss pics here and read the story here. And don't worry, I won't tell anyone you looked. It'll be our lil' secret.


BTW - Happy Belated Earth Day!

Is It More Than A Crush?

While thumbing through the New York Times "T" mag earlier today, I stumbled upon this beauty below:



Done drolling? Okay. Now imagine this in bold, piercing red. (That is the color T shot it in.) The baby sells for $1,799 at bludot.com. I'm thinking that it is worth the money especially since I envision having my living room decorated in primary colors. So this red couch will go quite nicely with a blue chair and yellow throw pillows. I also love that it is a sleepr sofa and will really prove to be handy when my nieces come up to visit.

Hmmmmmm... It is about time for me to invest in another grown-up piece of furniture so we shall see. First, I need to investigate whether or not I can score this baby any cheaper through a hook-up of some sort. LOL! Hey, it is what it is.