I'm Going on a Diet!

Yes folks, you read correctly. I'm going on a diet. No, not that kind of diet. I'm cool with my size and weight (although your girl needs to step up her sit-up game with some crunches). The diet I am embarking on has nothing to do with food and everything to do with shopping.

Let me explain. Earlier today, I was checking out one of my favorite sites, Glamour.com. I came across this post about The Great American Apparel Diet. Quickly intrigued, I checked out the main site for TGAAD and decided I had to be down. These are the specifics in a nutshell:

* I can't purchase any clothing (ready-to-wear or outerwear) for myself before August 31, 2010.

* I am allowed to purchase footwear, accessories and undergarments. (Thank goodness! Truthfully, this caveat was what made me agree to sign up.)

* Gifts and swapped items are also okay.

Why am I doing this? Well, there are the obvious reasons: I just got laid off and drastically need to curb my non-essential spending. But, I've been attempting to cut clothing spending for a minute. And I was pretty impressed by the other women who are already on-board with the diet. They are seemingly women who really have their ish together. My fellow dieters are primarily business owners, living in two-income households and have exciting, fulfilling careers (sure people often "color" their bios but still none of these chicks appear to be wanting for nada). You know what they say about birds of a feather... After losing my job three weeks ago, I was reminded that my savings wasn't close to where I wanted it to be and where it should be. (I don't count my 401k account. I prefer to pretend that money is untouchable.) Better late than never. I know it seems crazy to think I will be able to "save" now of all times but I'm determined to try. Plus, I kinda appreciate the challenge of having to get creative with what is already in my closet.

So, please leave me your comments of encouragement and support. I will need it. I have four closets in my apartment at home and a long dresser drawer filled with clothes -- I enjoy shopping. A lot. But because I own so much daggone stuff, I know that I can pull this off if I truly try. And I know that I will be stronger (and my savings greater) as a result.

Well, one day (almost) down and about 300 days to go. Yikes!

Shopping in My Own Closet

Hey, folks! Last week I was laid off from my job. Yep, my position at ESSENCE.com has gone bye-bye. Thank God for discernment and an awesome circle of loved ones, because I am more at peace than I have been in a long time. When I mentioned this to my good friend D, and added that I was feeling somewhat guilty (and confused...Was my hurt/anxiety coming later? I am notorious for delayed reactions after all...), he assured me that it was quite alright for me to have a positive outlook on the situation and not to force myself to be bitter, angry or depressed. "B, you should own your serenity. So what if people think you're not normal? You've never been normal." See why I think my peeps are so dope?

Moving along, I actually wanted to post about shopping in my own closet weeks ago but now the timing feels just right. Last month, I attended the wedding of a close family friend in North Carolina. The wedding and reception were both taking place indoors; at a church and a loft space respectively. In preparing for this wedding, I did what most of us do and made the decision to buy something new to wear. I had convinced myself that it would be worth it if I found something that I could also wear to the office later. (Isn't God funny?)

So, on one of my rare lunch breaks just days before the nuptials, I head to a Banana Republic a stone's throw away from my former j-o to find an appropriate frock to wear for this occasion. En route I remembered that I already owned a perfect dress, also from Banana Republic, I had only worn once or twice before. Hmmmm. I decided to check out Banana anyway since said dress might not read "fall" (I picked it up on sale over the summer in New Orleans). Well, nothing in Banana that day tickled my fancy enough to purchase it so I stuck with the dress I owned.

The outcome: The dress was perfect. I received many compliments and more importantly, I felt great in it. I paired it with a pair of metallic gold slingbacks and a vintage gold clutch from my mother. These accessories help take the dress from summery to fallish. Plus, since the dress contained neutral colors, the wedding was in North Carolina (temps don't really drop there until late November) and everything was held indoors, my fears that my dress would appear too "summery" were quickly dismissed. Nice!


Me wearing my "old" dress (on your right) and my cousin at the wedding reception. She just might flip that I posted this pic but it's the only one I had access to from the wedding.

Ironically, I spoke on a panel recently and urged the audience (the majority of them were residents of NY's Queensbridge Public Houses) not to buy something new just because society pressures us to do so. As the holidays are approaching and invitations to cocktail parties, office soirees and like start floating in; I strongly suggest we ALL reevaluate what we own before purchasing something new to wear.

Remember this post? Well, now ya girl will really have to practice what she preaches in this career transitional phase of my life. Regardless of what God has in store for me, shopping smarter is an absolute must.

Have you learned to shop in your own closet recently? Leave me a comment with your stories.

The Reason For The Season

With Christmas officially less than a week way, lots of folks are doing last minute shopping for their loved ones -- especially kids. A few years ago I would have been one of those people too. I've opted not to purchase any Christmas gifts this year. Are you clutching your pearls? Well stop. I do plan to give my nieces and godchildren savings bonds next month when all of the hustle and bustle is over and I resolve a couple of personal financial matters. But the Christmas of 2005 forever changed the way I view buying Christmas presents, especially for the children in my life.

My nieces came up to NY to visit me for the Christmas of 2005 and I was beyond excited. For the first time since losing my father in 1990, I wanted to decorate and really get into what I thought was the holiday spirit. See my dad made Christmas decorating a production in our household. My brother had to hang lights on our terrace (he hated doing it), we hung our cards all over the apartment, a train set and the gingerbread house my father purchased for me annually were arranged on the dining table, we decorated our tree to the nines, all four of us wrote and exchanged wish lists, Christmas carols were played constantly -- basically our home became a mini-Christmas village. But after my father passed, most of this stopped and for years I didn't feel the same about any of it. But knowing that my nieces were spending the holiday with me caused a serious change of heart. I went overboard with their gifts, I bought them stockings, I purchased ingredients for us to bake Christmas cookies (we never did), I tried to anticipate their every desire and within my budget (and probably over my budget) I met it.

Well, fast forward to Christmas day. First of all, they slept until about 10am. My brother and I always woke up ridiculously early on Christmas morning to open our gifts (go figure). Once their gifts were all open, I soon realized I was a lot more excited about what I had purchased for them than they were. And then the next evening, I had a true A-HA moment.


My Little Bsquareds, December 2005. This picture stays on my fridge to help me keep life in perspective.

My brother (their dad), had them get dressed for bed and like most kids, they were fighting it as much as possible. While avoiding going to bed, they discovered my old hoola hoop. Well they got such a kick out of that thing! Seriously, no Wii, Dora doll or Limited Too gear could have come close. They loved it so much that I let them take it back home. For the rest of their stay, they played with that darn hoola hoop more than any other toy they received that year. And they received quite a bit.

So yet again, my nieces (at the time they were only 2 and 5) taught me something that I don't think any adult could. Sure they were fascinated by the hoola hoop but they were a lot more excited to have something that belonged to their Auntie B. Not only did I get a valuable reminder on what is most important about this holiday in the first place, but it made me realize why I had enjoyed those Christmases with my father so many years ago. It was never about the "stuff" - truthfully I don't even like gingerbread - but it was about the time we spent together. The laughs we shared, hearing my dad yell at my brother for the lights being crooked, counting who broke the most ornaments; the bonding is what I cherished the most.

I might not physically purchase gifts this year but I hope to spread lots of love and definitely want to soak some love up.

Think about what you already have to give before you spend money on another gift. You just might have an orange hoola hoop of your own.

Shopping In Your Own Closet

I've been shopping in my closet a lot lately. I know it might seem lame or even impossible but it is actually kinda fun and most of all cost efficient. Since recessionista has become active in our vocbulary, I thought this post was very timely. Normally I only do this around Spring Cleaning time but I've put the practice into use more frequently and want to show you how to do the same. Check it:

TO EVERYTHING THERE IS A SEASON

Rethink your seasonless clothing and layer, layer, layer. Growing up, my family went through a daunting twice a year ritual of putting away our spring/summer clothes in the fall and putting away our fall/winter clothes in the spring. Perhaps it is because I have a lot more space now, but I don't really feel the need to do this anymore. I wear over half of my wardrobe year-round. But I've lately noticed that some items I've been reserving for the warmer months can work now in the dead of winter as well with the right manipulation. Dark tights under floral skirts and dresses, cardigans over tanks, even dresses over slim pants are all ways to effectively pull this off.

EVERYTHING OLD IS NEW AGAIN

By now we all get that fashion is cyclical but the tricky part is knowing when things are going to come back into "style". I don't think there is a hard and fast formula to this and why would we want one anayway? This season, I've pulled out items that I literally haven't worn in years and put them back in rotation. They include my black leather motorcycle jacket from college (I remember wearing this jacket to a Howard Homecoming weekend excursion) and an olive green Coach duffle sac. The result? Crazy compliments and Where did you find that? queries. That question was primarily for the Coach bag. Wearing these items is nostalgic and adds some personality to a look. Always keep items that are classic (like my motorcycle jacket) because they are guaranteed to be more interesting as they get older. By the way, I like popping mine over an ultra feminine dress.

BACK IT UP

Americans are generally over-consumers. Most of us have more than we realize, even those of us who are struggling. Go to the back of your closet and dresser drawer to re-evaluate what you own. Guaranteed you'll find at least one item you can add to the wardrobe rotation you had forgotten about and at least one other thing you can donate to folks who really don't have what they need. The other day I wore a belted denim dress that I have had for about a decade (it's by Espirt) and haven't worn in years and I wondered why I don't wear it more often but I quickly realized that I had forgotten about the darn thing.

REMIX WHAT YOU HAVE

Go to the tailor and make your favorite dress that is now a little too snug in the hip area a top. Cut a pair a jeans at mid-calf and wear them with knee length boots. Wear your favorite adjustable waist skirt as a dress over a turtleneck. (See the first tip.) Break up a suit - it's okay to wear that blazer with jeans every now and then. Switch out the belt of your favorite dress or coat for one that is a completely different color or texture.

HOST A SWAP PARTY

Admittedly I still haven't been to one of these yet but I just might throw one in '09. Folks have been raving about them for a few years now and with the economy being what it currently is, I predict even more people will be planning these types of fiestas. Basically, everyone brings a designated number of items of a set retail value to the party and the attendees then swap items that they no longer want or need for someone elses . Apparently, when done correctly, everyone leaves happy, no one has spent any money and it is a great way to declutter.

Have you been shopping in your closet lately? What did you find?

10 Holiday Shopping Tips & Tricks

Hey, hey, hey!

Hope everyone had a blessed Thanksgiving. I certainly did. I have loads to blog about too but Mr. TK will have my head if I don't hurry up. (In his defense, he is always waiting for me.) I plan to post a few things this weekend but in the meantime, it is Black Friday. So, check out the story I wrote for the main gig ASAP. I interviewed my girl and best-selling author Kathryn Finney aka The Budget Fashionista for the article and it has some really informative tips. I even learned a few things.

Gotta go -- happy reading! ;-)

Living Within Our Means: What We Can All Learn From Dame Dash

Damon Dash with his driver next to a luxury Macbach in 2006. These rides typically go for $400,000.


Music mogul Damon Dash has some serious money issues. How serious you ask? Well, according to The New York Daily News, it's pretty daggone serious. Check it:


* Last week, a Manhattan judge ordered the city to seize Dash's Chevrolet Tahoe, since he wasn't making the $714.99 monthly payment on the leased SUV.

* Eastern Savings Bank foreclosed on the $7.3 million mortgage for two trendy Tribeca condos where the monthly $78,504.26 bill went unpaid for months.

* Dash faces an outstanding $2.1 million tab with the New York State Department of Taxation and Finance, a $4,500 bill from the state for not paying workers' comp and a suit that says he stiffed the law firm that handled his child-custody case.

* Dash even got dumped by another firm representing him in a $3.5 million suit against accountant-to-the-stars Barry Klarberg, who is accused of bungling his tax returns, costing him millions.

Dang Gina.

Now I know there are folks right now saying (or thinking) that Dame is getting what he deserves. Apparently he hasn't always been the easiest cat to get along with. I can't do that though. Never actually met the dude and he hasn't done anything to me.

But what I can do is remember Dame tossing around all that expensive champagne a few years back in music videos. And I believe I caught some crazy spending on his BET reality show The Ultimate Hustler a couple years ago (Yes I watched it once or twice - forgive me!). Then there was the New York magazine article that quoted him stating he had 1,300 pairs of sneakers.

Hmmm.

Doesn't take a genius to figure this out folks. Dame spent more than he had. And hopefully he will dig himself out of this hole. We've seen this before though - MC Hammer anyone? Truth is, he's still probably not broke. His wife Rachel does have a clothing line which is seemingly doing well but the fashion biz is more gangsta than the music industry so who knows what kind of deal she has. Still, I think broke is sending your kid to bed hungry or wondering if your rented or borrowed furniture will be waiting for you on the sidewalk after you get evicted, again.

My girl E told me the other day that we are all living better than we have to (materialistically speaking) and now I agree. And some really wise person once said that the more we make, the more we spend. Let's all learn from Dame's mistakes people.

Living beyond our means is so not stylish. At all.

Money, Money, Money, Mo-ney: We are in an economic catastrophe but guess who’s still shopping?

FALL MEANS BACK-TO-SCHOOL SHOPPING! Don't believe the hype...

Okay, so I didn’t plan to blog on this topic until the weekend when I had a moment to flesh out my thoughts but I gotta get some stuff off my chest. In light of the recent ish that has gone down in the finance world, I needed to post now and find out what others were feeling. In hindsight, maybe my boy Ans was a catalyst for this post. First off, I must admit my knowledge of the financial industry is quite limited. However, one of my friends who traveled with me to South Africa is an auditor and over dinner one night she attempted to explain the significance of the recent Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae events. I still don’t understand most of it but I know that basically, ish is really effed up. And then the news of Lehman Brothers on Monday and AIG yesterday just put alcohol on an open wound. (And am I crazy for wondering where our country got $85 bill from?)

And I’m sure there is more to come.

Hey, I have no right to criticize how other folks spend their dough because my own financial house is not completely in order. I’m trying but I certainly have my moments. C’mon, do I really need a Freakum Dress? (Btw, I am going to find one for much less than $200 now.) I believe in balance and moderation. You know, working hard and playing hard. But folks who break their necks to get spanking new outfits for themselves or their children to wear on September 2nd is bananas to me. In most parts of the country, it is still hot when kids return to school. Who made the mandate that "summer clothes" couldn’t be worn after Labor Day? Said person should be fired! I plan to wear my summer threads well into October and will transition in fall pieces as necessary. Sure I already have my eye on a couple pairs of boots and a coat or two but I know those items will probably be on sale in a few weeks. Most retailers will be aiming to get their holiday merchandise out by mid/late October. And because of the disappointing year most have had in terms of sales, they will be trying even harder than usual to make up for it last quarter.

Perhaps because I wore a uniform to school from first through eighth grade, I don’t get the desire to wear something new the first time a little chill hits the air. Especially since I’m not a trust-fund kid. Truth be told, old money is rarely pressed to show off new wares every season anyway. It is the rest of us (and the new money having peeps) who have accepted that role.

I realize how important image is to most of our careers but as my mother says, I can’t let my wardrobe get on my dinner table. (Leave me a comment if you don’t get that.) In a couple of weeks, I am gonna try to make another trip out to Beacon’s Closet. And I’m keeping my rule of waiting at least 24 hours before I buy something - if it is meant for me, it will still be available the next day. Although I don’t have children of my own, I am not buying any of my nieces or godchildren clothes for a minute. Books, savings bonds, dance/piano lessons are much less depreciating.

How are you trying to save money in our current grim economy but still stay fly? Have recent events with the stock market and such made you rethink dropping a G on that new purse?


Happy Born Day BLB, Sr.! I miss you much.

Learning When to Say When: This Is Grown Folx B-I

We'll buy a lot of clothes when we don't really need ‘em,
Things we buy to cover up what's inside.

All Falls Down, Kanye West


I went to a sample sale earlier this week and purchased two fabulous frocks. Although the dresses are from a designer I really respect and admire - I know, deep down in my heart of hearts that I didn’t need those dresses. I need a new mattress. I need to remember to take my iron pills to control my anemia. But those dresses? Didn’t need ‘em one bit. I knew it when I tried on the dresses, I knew it when I paid for them and I know it now. In my defense, every time I purchase something from said designer, I end up wearing the items for multiple years. And her well-crafted, highly detailed creations always get me loads of compliments. So while I don’t totally regret my purchases, I realize more and more as I get older that it is quality – not quantity- that produce a stylish wardrobe.

How often have we all stood in front of our over-stuffed closets (often containing clothes that still have tags on them), frustrated because we ‘have nothing to wear’? Virtually all of us have because we unfortunately live in a society where over-consumption is the norm. But that’s another blog and post all together… My point is that I’m trying to achieve balance in my life. Of course I want fly gear. But I also love to travel and see the world, I want to live in a fly pad and most importantly, I want to live debt-free and keep my finances on the up and up as much as possible. Plus, wisdom (and not being a trust-fund kid) has taught me that fly gear does not necessarily mean new gear.

My co-worker hipped me to another sample sale last week after the before mentioned one, and I was so tempted to go. So, so tempted. But, I did the grown-up thing and opted out. Sure, I could have went, thrown caution to the wind and charged my little heart out. While it was difficult to pass initially, I am so glad I didn’t give in. In times like those I remember the sage advice given to me by a veteran fashion stylist a few years ago. She had just complimented me on a sweater I was wearing and I quickly rejected the compliment saying, ‘Oh, I threw this on because I was running late and didn’t have to iron it. I just wore this same outfit last week!’ She politely warned, ‘Sweetie, people don’t remember how often you wore something. They just remember whether you looked good in it or not.’

Well call me a sucker, but I thought her advice was so profound and it has been in my subconscious ever since.

Living within your means is probably the most stylish way to step out of all.